To Denmark, With Love: A Reflection

Dear Denmark,

I say this time and time again, if six months ago you had asked me if I thought I would be here, if I could do this, I would have instantly told you no. But now it feels like just yesterday I stepped off that plane, shaking and sick to my stomach. My two months flew by, and I have grown so much and understand so much more about myself: my flaws, my skills, my confidences, my abilities, are are much clearer now. I now know that I can be okay, that I can feel at home in a place that isn’t my home. I want to do this again.

Denmark, you and I have shared a very important chapter of our lives together. Thanks to the Vejlefiord Rotary Club, I was blessed with the most incredible family, the thing I will miss the most. My family understood I was a introverted recluse from the beginning, and they understood it seems. I battled with this for eight weeks.

This is probably the biggest thing I would do differently. I, much like the rest of my generation, view my technologies and devices as extensions of myself, and I’m addicted to them. Most often, I did as Christina had done in our house (and also as my father had instructed), sitting in public places when on my laptop or phone like the living room. My friends and I sit on our laptops and phones and talk and show things to each other, so I never really considered how doing this would hinder accessibility, and in retrospect I definitely would change that. I feel bad about that, actually. I struggle with making conversation in general, and I know Sophie and Christian suffered from both my reclusive personality, the computer, my flawed ability to converse, and my uncertainty on what to say/do with kids their age. I’m truly sorry if I did not live up to your expectations, but you were two of the sweetest and most amazing kids I’ve met and you will grow up to be so smart, so funny, so talented, and wonderful people just like your parents.

I will miss you all terribly, the way you made me laugh, and made fun of me trying to say Danish words. I am ever grateful for the experience you have given me. You showed me so much of Denmark, from its family life, to the countryside, to the cuisine, to even a little bit of Deutschland! You told me, that at the rate I was finishing the manual, I’d be staying until Christmas. The fact that you made my last supper a Christmas dinner is a symbol I’ll never forget. I look forward to the day we meet again.

I will miss Arense and Christina, my Danish sisters. It is tough knowing that our friendship happened so quickly, shared between experiences and two countries, and although this friendship is far from over, it is anything but over, it will require more effort to maintain. I loved the cities you showed me; you gave me the [real] interaction with  college-age individuals I needed, and if I were to repeat this experience, I would have loved to live in Aarhus to experience that social aspect that I generally lacked in Middelfart. We shall see each other again soon, whether in Denmark or in the US.

I will miss my team at Uhrenholt. Truth be told, I was scared to be working in a corporate setting. But you all showed me that a thick style guide doesn’t mean one can’t have fun with rules. Løne, thank you for providing me with a 104-page project that encouraged me to think outside the box within the box. I am proud of my involvment in it, and I hope that everyone else likes it too.

To the marketing department, I did have a blast working with each and every one of you, even if we sometimes disagreed about English syntax, diction, and grammar. Lars, you in particular are one of the greatest superiors I could have asked for. I’ll miss seeing your goofy, charming grin every day. You were/are a great friend with whom conversation is easy; talking about music with you was great. Actually, not just music, everything we talked about was amazing. You accepted my dorkiness for who I was, partially because you’re a dork yourself (go buy that LEGO set, already! Who cares if you’re 33?) I’ll miss you, and blame the volcano on everything that goes wrong, just as we promised.

To Carsten Sigvert and Family, I had a wonderful time spending time with your crew of boys. Victor, Lasse, and Jon are quite the entertaining trio, especially when they/we started making low blows at each other, and I’ve never felt so equally amused and offended to be an American in their company…that’s a good thing. You showed me the lovely vistas of the Vejle area, and the picturesque  town of Skagen. I’ll have to return someday in the sunlight to see the magical light that all those artists got to experience.

To everyone else who helped me experience the amazement here in Denmark. Carsten F., neighbor Carsten, Ella’s parents, Henriette, Giada, Egon, and anyone else who I am forgetting off of the top of my head.

A shout out to the Art Squad, especially those in Europe (Tom, Corvin, Demi, Ruben). You guys provided me with the college-age interaction I needed when I wasn’t with Christina, Arense, and the Sigvert clan. The talent in Art Squad is inspiring and extraordinary, and I’m proud to call myself part of the crew. I’ll miss our nighttime Skype calls; they’re going to be more difficult now.  Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeek. Andreas, I’m sad we didn’t get acquainted sooner. Would have been great to hang with you in Aarhus during the days I was there. Yet another reason to visit Denmark again, my friend.

Moving on, Arense provided me with a series of questions that she ponders after a trip. After much thinking, these are the responses I came up with.

The best thing: My family, my friends, and my personal growth. The existential moment I experienced during The Little Mermaid —That moment defined my time here in Denmark; I was surrounded by Danes, in Denmark, watching a famous Danish story told in Danish. It was surreal, and may have been my favorite moment, even if I looked foolish crying during “Part of Your World.”

I would also like to cite my first time in Copenhagen as a defining moment. It was the first time that I truly stopped to think in a stressful situation like the one I had been in, and not panic. It proved that I could be okay.

The worst: The street party. It was a lovely setting with lots of nice people, but I didn’t entirely get to experience that. It was the most isolating and the time I was most frustrated with not knowing how to speak Danish. It is hard to enter a conversation when you don’t know what is being said.

The thing I would do again: I would return to Skagen in a heartbeat to experience that place in the sunlight. I want to see the difference in the waters in color, not just the difference in texture. I would also return again to Copenhagen and do some more of the touristy things as opposed to just wandering around.

What I wouldn’t do again: It’s not that I wouldn’t live there again, because I loved Middelfart…The sights, the harbor, the quaint town, but I wouldn’t live in Middelfart. Having no one my age is tough for two months. That contributed to the isolation, and certainly aided me in seeking out the company of the Art Squad a lot. I would try to live in Vejle, Aarhus or Odense. (I don’t think I could do Copenhagen well, it’s too big.)

The thing I am not going to miss: Huge spiders, not having ice in drinks, Danish Kroner (sorry, too many coins…I can’t do it), bicycling everywhere (especially in the rain…I didn’t dislike biking, I just love my car). I’ll miss taking the train, but not the cost of taking it.

Things I am going to miss: My host family, my friends, my job and coworkers, the wind turbines everywhere, the architecture, the view overlooking Middelfart and Lillebælt on my way home from work, Bettanus the cat noisily climbing through the skylight in the wee hours of the morning when it’s raining (and when it’s not), sharing music and laughs with Lars, lunchtime walks by the marina with my team, and the salty smell of the ocean wafting through the windows by my desk.

I learned so much in Denmark, but I cannot list it all. I could write you a novel, Denmark, but instead you have 11 other blog entries you can read instead that tell you all of my thoughts, feelings, and analyses.

I think it is time I close this document, Denmark. I think it is safe to say I love you. I didn’t fall head over heels for you, but our relationship slowly flourished into something that is definitely love. I’m ready to go home, but I’m not quite ready to leave you. My two months were gone in a flash. In reality, two months isn’t really a long time, but as I know all too well, two months is just enough time to fall in love; it just is long enough time for me to put my life in New York on hold and start a new one elsewhere. I developed a new life here, a new routine; an everyday life with friends and family and even myself and growth. But now I must once again leave this life I created in a different land just to unpause the one I suspended in the States. It’s sad, and even a little scary to resume the quiet one I led.

Denmark, you have taught me so much about myself, I am sad to see you go. This relationship, although short term, was amazing. Breaking up is always hard to do, but I think we’ll both be okay.

All my love, tak for alt.

Until next time,

Elissa